我...

我要的什么你都给...
你要的我好像学不会...
我很难顶吧?我很脆弱...真的很脆弱...
我很奇怪吧?我想很多...真的想很多...
之前都看不见我的缺点吧...?
之前都不觉得我原来是那么忧愁,那么难侍候吧...?
之前都好像觉得我是个不错的选择吧...?
我是个奇怪脑袋充满思想的女人..
我是个多愁善感的女人...
我是个要求很多可是却没达到要求的人...
我是个看起来好像善良的好人...
我总是爱哭....
什么时候只要想到什么都可以轻易掉泪...
可以什么东西都哭一场然后就这样睡着...
所以别在我哭的时候叫我别哭...
因为那只会让我无法停止哭泣...
我哭是因为我在乎,我害怕,我懦弱....
我总是在要求,总是在期盼别人对我的好...
我终于明白一直原地不动的是自己...
自己的自私,自己的思想...
你...觉得累了吧....?
我告诉自己这一次我是不会那么快放弃...
我告诉自己我是可以接受一切...
我告诉自己我不会再去在乎一切我没有的...
我告诉自己...我会为我在乎的去争取...
我告诉自己...我会改变自己让一切变得更好...
我告诉自己...我会学会更独立...
我告诉自己.......
你要的,你想的,我都会学会,都会改变...
直到有一天你感受到我的改变....
我不会就这样放手.....



可是....
你...是否开始觉得很累...?
你...是否觉得后悔...?
我的出现好像把你的世界涂上灰色了....
我只想说....
可以让我们好好的为这世界涂上幸福快乐的色彩吗....?
你听见了吗.........?
你感受到吗.........?

random post...

aikz..the father is back to the house again...
i wish he will stay over there n don't come back for now...
really need a peaceful world...
i know is bad to think like that...
but then when you never fall into this kind of situation,u will never know..
it's suffering................
i wish i can run away from here...
i know i almost fall into the same situation with my dad...
but i just cant stop myself thinking all the time....
started to lost my way,lost direction in many way..
heartless with everything im doing right now...
i know what should i do,but then it's just like a wall...
a wall that blocking me to reach the destination...
different perspective,different lifestyle...
everything is different...
two different world really hard to be together?
i would say yes...
sometimes,no matter how u change,
different means different...
nothing means nothing...
i dont feel like hurting anyone that want to change for me...
sometimes u can feel it without any words that will only make u feel bad..
i just want things to be simple...


take a deep breath.....
i must overcome it,find the way that supposed to be...
dear god,please renew my life...
i need a direction....