如果

最近大家都在面对着不同的问题...
真的有如季节似的,无论何时何刻都可听见朋友的问题...
朋友,你们都要坚强起来好吗...
很多时候旁观者虽然是看得清,可是却难以明白当事人的感受...
朋友,真的很抱歉我对你的疑惑,对你的不信任...希望你能原谅我...
此刻的我突然觉得蛮难过的...
难过因为无法使朋友开心起来,难过因为无法把事实扭转过来好让每个人都开心...
难过因为无法面对自己的软弱,难过因为无法把事情做好...
更难过的是看见自己的朋友那么的难受...
最难过的是我让我爱的人伤心难过...对不起...

看见朋友的难过,不禁让我想起之前自己也曾经历过一样的事情...
我也可以再次的站起来,我相信你们也可以的!

如果...时间能倒流,你会选择再一次的拥有吗...?
如果...时间能倒流,你会选择不曾拥有吗...?

--没有你的夜特别的漆黑
只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜
谁在你身边
代替了那个从前
能不能再听一次你说爱我
回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔--

无论现在的心情如何,也许现在的你觉得透不过气来,
就让时间来带走你的难过,带走你的忧伤...
就让时间把未来的快乐带给你们...
时间虽然能冲淡一切,可是却带不走回忆,
但是我相信时间能使你再次的拥有那不一样的回忆...

again...

again...
again...
again...
.
.
.
.
.
dad's emotion is not that stable again...
mom ask him go for doctor,but he don't want..he don't want to face his problem that he actually is sick again,or i should say he never recover before...aikz...everyone is worry again..
he can't really sleep well in this few days...quite moody...
Lord,i just pray that you can let my dad fully recover from this problem...
i just want a healthy father,i just want a happy family...
i don't know how to face him,i don't know how to make him happy...
should i pretend like nothing happen...?
who can really accompany me and help me...?i don't want to be like my dad >.<
this sem going to be a tough semester for me,can i handle it?
can i handle all of the problems?can i...?
can i just take a deep breath then everything will be fine...?
can i just accept all the things that happened around me...?
problems is everywhere,everyone have their problems in their lives...
i always told people that don't worry that much,everything will be fine...
but when things happen,i really can't take it...
i'm tired...i hope all the sickness go away from me...
i need a healthy and strong body to face everything...
i need a pair of ears for listen to me,
comfortable shoulder to let me lye on...
Lord,i need you...please let my father to be healthy again...
darling,i need you too...i don't want our relationship grow with a wall...
i just...hope everything will be fine...that's it...
dear friend,i know you also having your problem,sometimes i just hope to share with you,but you seems so busy...izzit really because our lifestyle is different...?i'm too sensitive...?i don't know...can our friendship remain the same like last time...?
tell me that you are still there,you never change...can...?
i'm...tired...just took medicine,have to take some rest again...
sweet dream to myself =(

arghHharghHh!!

what's wrong with me??!!
flu,cough,n super headache,never felt like this before...gosh!
i hate headache!!!!i hate hot wheather!!!i hate....i hate....!!!!
arghhhhh....haiz....am i wrong again...?
i make things worse because of my bad temper...
but...this time i really feel like i did nothing wrong...
i can feel that you are not happy,but i really don't know that you will angry about it...
yea,i admit that i always throw all the anger to you...
but this time,i just feel super not well,and you choose to voice out when i was feeling not well,its makes me feel super super down,sad,speechless,lost...what should i reply?i'm sorry....this is what i can say...
sometimes you din really ask or understand my situation...
you can't imagine how suffer is that feeling...
you can't understand the problem that i'm facing..
sometimes i din really try to understand your problem..
i can't feel your tiredness...
i can't understand your situation..i'm sorry...really sorry...
i just can't stop thinking,and sometimes i don't even know how to tell you all the things that happen around me,because most of the time you are in tired...
you are tired because of practice,tired because of work,
tired because of driving,tired because of assignment,
tired because i always angry you,tired because of waiting me untill you fall asleep...
i'm trying hard to be strong,stop think that much,
be more positive,be more patient on everything,i am trying...
i'm tired too...although my day is not that busy as you..
i'm so sorry...
i care about it because i really love you...
i want to be the best for you...

心痛

首先,我要祝我的朋友~潘章益!生日快乐!!!希望你永远都那么傻佬!
可是我的心真的觉得很痛,因为今天所经历的一切真的让我差点喘不过气...
最近都不下雨了,天气超热的!而我的车就在这个时候不争气,冷气又坏了 >.<
我真的顶不顺了,真的很热,整个人变得很暴躁的...我真的不想的...
在大热天之下进行拍摄的工作真的可以把我也给杀掉...哎~
好不容易完成了一部份的拍摄工作,可是...想到要驾车就很不爽因为冷气坏了!!
我自己热也连累朋友和我一起热,真的很抱歉...
结果我又热着回家,怎么知道...塞车!!我的天啊~真的要热死我吗...?
你们是无法想象我当时的心情...>.<
又好不容易的回到家里附近,因为爸爸生日,结果要去买蛋糕给他...
终于!!我买到了蛋糕,也回到家了...
热到我真的很累,没力气再讲话,恨不得我的车可以消失在我眼前!!
我回到家又要准备再出去开会,我真的不想驾着那辆没冷气的车出去了...
我以为爸爸会好心借我车用,可是...他并没有这个意思要借我..
这就是我心痛的原因...我很不明白,我很难过...
因为爸爸可以完全不试着体谅我就叫我继续驾自己的车出去...
也许你们觉得爸爸不借车给我是很正常,可是没人能明白我的感受..
爸爸经常都在不知不觉的情况下做出一些让我难过的事...
他重视的永远不会是我,他疼爱的永远不是我,
他关心的永远不会是我,他最爱的永远不是我...
因为我不配,我不乖,我聪明,我不讨人欢喜,
我不像哥哥那么厉害,不像哥哥那么乖巧听话...
从这件事上,我真的可以看见我在他心中的地位...
我可以感觉到自己的心真的很痛..
一路上的我眼泪不断的滑落...因为我真得很难过...
没人在身边让我诉苦...没人可以真的了解我当时的心情...
我只好不断的为自己擦泪,告诉自己不要哭,算了...
今天是爸爸生日,虽然买了蛋糕可是他并没显示出他的开心...
爸,我知道很多时候我并没有做个好女儿,
总是让你担心,让你伤心...对不起...
我只希望能和你好好的像一般的父女一样谈天说地...
我好希望自己能够让你为我而感到骄傲...
我只希望我所做的一切好事能换来你的称赞...
我希望自己可以好好孝顺你....
爸,生日快乐...
你的女儿我真的爱你的...希望你感受得到...

终于!!

终于!!我的成绩出炉啦~这次我真的为自己感到开心,因为完全没有C,而且比上个学期进步了!
虽然还是没办法拿A,可是以我的程度,能够及格又没有C就很好了!!感谢神听我的祷告=)
而且最值得开心的是我的同学也没有不及格的,大家都可以暂时松口气,好好的预备两个月后的考试!
最后一个学期了,每天去到学校的心情都好像怪怪的...因为大家都会很自然的谈起毕业后的计划,要继续读书的都不多,让我觉得好不舍得他们...因为两个月后的我们也许就真的是分开了,做工的做工,继续读书的也未必是在同一间学院了...
所以我决定好好的珍惜和朋友在一起的一分一秒,也要尽我的全力去应付最后一个学期!大家加油吧!!
终于!!开学了~呵呵...开学了当然又要忙咯...而且这个学期的科目都很难,准备assignment的时间也不多,哎!
可是目前的我还不真的算是很忙,因为...我还可以坐在这里写部落格..呵呵...
其实也是因为今天没上课,每个星期四都是休息天!wuhoo~~

时间倒数回到... [8-3-09]
这一天是特别一天,因为我和我的男友及他家人还有一些会友一起去了一日游=)
我们很早就出发到gopeng,perak的椰壳洞gua tempurung.
虽然外婆家就在gopeng,可是我却还是第一次到椰壳洞..呵呵..
当到达那里时,我还真的担心自己会后悔,可是进到里面后却觉得还不错嘛=)
我还是一直流汗,幸亏带着我的面巾!呵呵..
整个旅程包括来回是一小时四十分钟,可是这些旅程都是根据所选的配套的.

这是在网上找的照片,这是洞里面的情景,如果仔细看可以看到有楼梯的,那是我们走的路.

有些地方的楼梯特别斜,特别高,所以还蛮吃力的!@@

爬山后,当然是很累很饿了咯..所以就到了kampar 吃 asam laksa,
味道还好啦,因为个人也不是十分喜欢吃,不过能填饱肚子就好!
吃饱了当然是继续我们的行程啦...
我们去了瀑布玩!好好玩叻!下次一定要和朋友去!!
这个瀑布的地点是在tapah,lata kinjang waterfall.
我们走到最高的地方玩水,好冷噢~而且有下雨所以更冷!
一直坐在水里,好舒服..因为很久都没去瀑布了...而且....重点是...我不用流汗嘛!哈哈!

其实这个瀑布是可以在highway旁看到的,远远可以看到它是在其中一座山留着水的.下次可以注意一下!

玩够了当然又是到了吃饭时间咯,我们到了一个叫...好像是tualang的地方吃我的最爱-海鲜!
那个地方是出名吃海鲜的,所以好多人都到那里吃,虽然我们订了位子可是却等了好久才上菜>.<
吃饱了就要回家咯...那时已经是接近10点了,我们在路途上发现了超好吃的叉烧包!!呵呵!
结果就买了很多回家吃=)
可是...回家的途中却因为有修路工程,结果我们困在车龙里大概接近3个小时,我回到家已经是早上4点了 >.<
幸亏第二天是假期,我一觉睡到中午才醒..呵呵...爽!!
dear,谢谢你让我可以和你及你的家人渡过开心的一天=)

这次的旅程让我觉得两个人在一起不一定就只有两个人的世界,
偶尔和对方的家人相处也可以让自己了解对方更多...
我好希望不久以后有机会可以让你和我家人相处在一起=)
我爱你!!让我们好好的维持我们之间的感情...
无论你有多忙碌,无论你有多疲惫,我都会在这支持你=)

decision

again...is hard for me to made a decision*sigh*
"no matter what,as long as you happy,then i will accept the decision..."
this is what you always told me,but you are not happy at all...
i'm so sorry...i just want you to know,no matter what,you are important for me,i know i always makes you feel that i can just promise you something but when another thing or plan appear,i will break the promise and let you down *sigh x2*
thousand of sorry in my heart *sorry*...i'm really feel so sorry to you...
i can't made a decision when things come together...it's just...too hard for me =(
i know you will disappointed everytime when i told you that i'm sorry because i need to postpone our plan or bla bla n bla bla,although u will say 'is ok''never mind',but...for sometimes you are actually not ok at all,you just want me to feel better...
sometimes,i just feel like the decision that i made is confusing myself at the same time >.<"
because i'm not only have to think about you but i need to think about the consequences at the same time...sometimes i admit that is because i think too much,but sometimes i really have to think about the consequences...
sometimes i need to choose either one between you and myself,you and others people,you and my leader,you and everything... how to decide?how to choose?i was confuse ...
people always said that it just a decision,no need to think so much,but ...
people also said that 'a decision might makes you regret for your entire life' *gosh*
i am not complaining that you are not good enough,but you was too nice with me,until i feel so guilty,because you always tolerate with me no matter what happen...can you be fierce to me...?
i have to made a decision again,and you will feel disappointed again...
i just hope everything,everyone will be fine...
i just want to stop think that much...
i just want to be more confident...
i just want to made a decision that no people will get hurt or unhappy...
i just want you to be happy and feel proud that i am your girl...
can i make it...?

忙碌...

忙碌的生活真的会让忘记身边的人,忘记身边的事情吗?
忙碌的生活真的很充实吗?
忙碌的生活真的让人开心吗?
我个人还蛮喜欢忙碌的感觉,因为不会像现在这样坐在这里...呵呵..
可是我却不能接受因为忙碌的生活而忽略生活上的一些小细节...
哎...
我的朋友也好像变得好忙碌...让我觉得好像有代沟了...
你们一定觉得我想太多吧...
是的,我想太多,可是总比没察觉到这一个问题来得好吧...?
当一个人忙碌的时候,开口闭口都是会环绕在他们忙的话题当中...
他们遇到谁,他们遇见什么事,他们这样那样...这些都是正常的..
可是很多时候他们却没发觉,在谈话的过程中都只是他们自己在讲,讲到累了就停...
那么那个听的人呢?他是不是应该安静的让那个讲的人休息?然后再等他们继续讲?
他们是想分享,可是我也想啊...虽然我的不比他们精彩,可是我也想分享一下啊...
哎...
或许我真的太在乎吧...在乎得来让人讨厌...
我知道这一切都是我的想法...也许自己的生活圈子小吧...
算吧...开学了就会让一切恢复正常...
选择不去在乎,不去想也许真的是最好的解决方法...
try to understand,if not just telan-learn from ah fei XD
alright...hard to combine then just telan la =P