当你爱的时候...

你正在爱着某个人?
还是被某个人爱着?
当你爱着一个人的时候,你的感觉会是如何?
很开心?很容易满足?很疯狂?
很多说不出的感觉吧..?
当你爱的时候...
或许会盲目的不顾一切的爱,
或许会理智又谨慎的去爱,
或许会为了爱做出很多改变,
或许会为了爱付出很多东西,
或许会为了爱而做平时自己不做的事情,
或许会为了爱而找出很多怪借口,
很多人都会在不知觉的情况下被爱影响了自己...
而很少人会愿意承认自己被爱影响了...
因为怕被取笑,怕这是一个事实...
当然也有人会大胆承认因为没有什么好否认的...
但是往往最接近你的人就是就能看出或感觉得到你是否被影响...
为什么就是不愿承认呢?为什么不愿接受呢?
为什么人总是为自己找借口呢....?
也许是茅盾吧...
当你爱的时候...
是否依然关心周遭的一切?还是忽略了些什么的?
是否注意到一些事情的变化?还是毫无知觉?
很多时候都好像以为自己什么都处理得很好,
可是其实有很多东西是自己根本没有去处理...
有把握固然是好但是过分自信偶尔还真会让人觉得无奈...
当你爱的时候...
请别忘了爱自己及身边的一切...
因为他/她/它,不会是你的一切...

当你爱的时候...
也就是你要学习更多的时候...

so close yet so far...

so close yet so far.....
how close?how far?
sometimes...
we have to accept the truth...
we have to accept the changes...
we have to accept the fact...
we have to accept everthing either you like it or not...
i dont know how far can i make it...
i cant predict about that...
what i know is...im trying hard...
but why i cant see any changes?
why there is no appreciation from you?
why there is no response from you?
why....i keep felt the same thing is this way...
everything start with smile,growth with love,end with tears...
i dont want to have any teardrops...
i just want you to know and want you to feel me...
things just faded faster than the speed of light...
and this is what i dont wish to see....
tell me what's next...
tell me that im got it wrong from the beginning until now...
tell me that...i will moves on....

很乱...

...................................................................
最近都在考试...
这次的考试真的让我恶梦连篇...
真的有够力精神受影响...
虽然我也不知道为什么会那么受影响,
可是就是睡不好...吃...还是很好!!XD
几乎每晚都发恶梦,从梦中醒来,
还是自己一个人...
早上起床却是觉得世界很灰,
从来没有这样的感觉...
可是就是觉得很难受...
也许事情一直困扰着自己,
没办法解决,也不知如何把它说出来...
原来每个人的心中真的会有无法说出来的秘密...
我不知道何时事情才能有答案,
也不知道应该用什么方法来解决...
都怪自己总是在矛盾,犹豫不决....
我...是不是变了.....
是因为周围的变化而让自己也随着变了,
还是因为自己的变化所以周围才会变?
我...突然慌了起来...
我总是为自己找借口,总是处于矛盾的状况...
我在想...什么时候我才能变得果断一点...
........................................................................

first time..

first time...i become the song leading on saturday service...

mmm...nervous,but a bit excited too XD

overall i think i still need to work hard on it,not the best one yet...

but sweating really killing me..it's so ANNOYING!!omg ><

i sweat when i started to lead,sweat when i get nervous,

sweat when i feel hot,sweat whenever i on stage...T-T

but still have to thanks to those that support me...

especially elaine CHIAM hahahahah XD

the one that sms me when i feel nervous...

and of course my pastor...

he really make me feel better whenever i talk to him..

his prayer,his words ...it's powerful :)

i won't forget that when i sweating on the stage,

he just gave me tissue with smile,

i feel so...warm in my heart....

suddenly feel like he just like a father .. a great one..

but i still feel pai seh la XD lol

i know i didn't do well but everyone still gave the best words to me..

but still feel a bit disappointed...

the one i thought will give me encouragement, is the one that make me feel bad,

sometimes...i just feel bad that she only see me when she need my help,

she only talk to me when she feel lonely,or want to complain,

but when i need something that encouraging,she's not there all the time...

i really feel bad...she just can't praise me for once....

sometimes i really feel that she didn't even appreciate what I've done...

first time...i feel that stress and crazy about my exam...

it's all about maths...omg...crazy!!!i just hate maths SO MUCH!!!

i so damn worry about it right now...

just back from study group,but i just feel the stress all the time...

wake up early in the morning,the 1st thing on my mind is about MATHS!!

before i sleep,i also think about MATHS...omg...!!!!

i just want a good brain >.<

dear lord...please....hold me tight....

i need you so much....for everything....

first time.......

what about you?how's your day?

everything fine?

is sad .....

is sad...
to know when things happened in the wrong timing;
is sad...
when things happend with no reason...
is sad... that someone is trying to run away from you...
is sad... that the one you always rely with is not support you anymore...
is sad... to see the one you care is trying to avoid you...
is sad... when you can't reach your heart anymore...
is sad... when you can't feel your heart anymore...
is sad... when everything turns bad,down,and it's fading away slowly...

and it's all about sooner or later...

sooner or later you will know...
sooner or later you will see...
sooner or later you will know the reason...
sooner or later you will see the truth...
sooner or later things will fade out from your life...

but why?why did it have to go down this way...?
maybe i really got it all wrong...
i wish,i hope,i pray that i really got it all wrong...
i really...really...got the wrong thing...

people around...

Have you ever realised that people around are changing over times?
Maybe its true when we say, people come, stay and leave.
When they've decided to leave, we've got no say.
The decision making is totally up to them, whether to stay or leave.

I realised that friends around is one of the grestest example.
Friends from primary, secondary or college are rarely to be the same bunch.
At different point of time, we tend to mix around with different people due to some circumstances.

Sometimes, you may think that you're very closed with certain friends at that particular time.
You'll be surprised when the day both of you have lesser topics,
didnt hang out as often and eventually lost in touch.

I think it's kinda sad to see and accept the changes.
It's like you're used to be closed and now the gaps between are getting further.
You might be in the dilemma whether to let it go or put in efforts hoping to remain the closeness like how it used to be. Maybe either one party should make the first move, but the friendship will slowly fades away when it didnt work.

hsia,sorry for copy your words XD
just feel that this is so right and this is what im thinking right now..
emo?not really..just think about someone and something...