Tuesday, February 23, 2010

还是一样...

终于都开工了...
假期全都过去了...
新的挑战等着我...
我不知道该开心还是难过...
刚才和朋友谈起我们的事情,
应该讲我是愿意面对了还是我在让自己去接受呢?
我还是很矛盾...
回家的过程很难受...只想快点回到家不再去想起过去...
但是我依然想起了我们的过去...
以前赛车,我就一直打电话给你,投诉这,投诉那的...
以前驾车,会想到有时间可以去你家找你...
现在赛车,只能重复听着你爱听得歌,
现在驾车,只能告诉自己我已经不能再去找你了...
我们说好暂时分开...但是...
我们却好像分手了,连朋友也做不成一样...
为什么会变成这样...我也不知道...
刚才有个朋友问我,
将来我们还会有机会吗?
我的心...很乱...
只答...以后的事,以后才打算...
并不是我要逃避不回答,而是我根本没信心...
当晚遇见你的画面真的让我无法忘记...
我...的心好痛......
你过得好吗....?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

遇见你...

四个小时前的我遇见了你...
在没有预想到时候竟然让我遇见你...和你的家人...
让我不知所措...看着你也让我反应不来...
感觉超难受,也想.....告诉你我真的无法忘记你...
你对我的眼神,再次的让我觉得你已经不再留念...

三个小时前我在戏院里看戏...
和一班很可爱,搞笑,有义气的朋友...
看起来我是应该很开心才对...至少我有他们的陪伴...
但是做在戏院里,应该是那套戏不够吸引吧,
竟然让我有时间去放空思想,回想起过去的我们...
想起我们以前看戏的时候,我都会很自然的在你肩膀上睡着...
而你就会讲我每次都睡着,在你车睡着,在你身旁看戏也睡着...
也许在你身旁有安全感所以才睡着吧...
可是现在...我不能睡着了...
想着想着,眼泪又想流出来了...
真的是不知不觉的流泪...
第一次看戏看到这样...
真的好想再次靠在你的肩膀...
我真的不曾好受过........

不管是谁,失恋都会难过,痛哭留念...
我也知道一切都会过去,只是需要时间...
朋友都劝我别让自己停留得太久...
我真的明白,真的了解....
我并不是想得到更多的关心而让自己一直在难过,
更不是想得到任何的同情而让自己伤心...
只是.....我真的不知道该如何才好..
我每天都在矛盾的当中....
我每天都在回想的当中....
我只差还没让自己颓废的不像人...
朋友们...知道你们都不知道要怎样劝我了,
也知道你们都尽量陪我,支持我,
我会没事的,不需要担心...谢谢你们...

也许你也在努力的放下这段感情,
也许你也不曾好受过,
也许你...真的觉得累了所以选择潇洒点...
也许你...的难过是我一手造成的.............
若你没遇见我,你的生活就不会出现那么难过的时刻...
此刻的我....想对你说....
对不起........
虽然已经无法弥补一切.......
但是我真的想告诉你.......
对不起.......

Friday, February 19, 2010

回想....

昨天我真的很高兴有朋友们的陪伴..
一整天的时间都和他们在一起...
感觉是很舒服又温馨..
因为我们好久没有这样聚在一起了...
听朋友们聊天,诉苦,分享感情事...
我即为他们担心也为他们感到开心,只是...
无可否认我是想起你...
无可否认我是无法停止这一切的伤痛...
无可否认我是不想面对事实...
突然回想起从前的我们...
看着你送我的卡...
你写着说希望我收到这张卡时会觉得自己是最幸福的,
你说你要我在新的一年里的第一天就属于你的,
你说你真的真的超喜欢我...
你也找了一百种我爱你的语言,
你等了我四年,终于我们在一起了...
这一切...所有的一切...
都是我回想起的过去.....
手握着
你为我做的日历,生日笔记本...
但却不想让眼泪弄湿了...
这一切...所有的一切...
都是我回想起的过去...
我的心真的很痛.....
你真的愿意把我和一切都忘掉了吗......

很多的朋友都给不同的安慰...
很多的朋友都给不同的陪伴...
告诉我别难过,要坚强,
告诉我好好的享受现在的生活,
告诉我一切都会过去,伤心一下就好,
告诉我这并不是件坏事,
告诉我不要再颓废下去,
我真的明白...毕竟这不是第一次..
但是却是第一次面对明明还相爱着的分离...
我无法,真的无法形容我的心情...
我在努力着往前走,
选择过一个人的生活..
一个人去看戏,
一个人去吃饭,
一个人走街,
一个人面对...
这一切都做了,一个人的世界也并非那么残酷...
我想...我可以好好的做一个人的事情...
我想...我会好好的习惯一个人的日子...

回想起你我的过去.........
我真的...是爱你的......

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

can you feel me....

happy cny again...
just came back from hometown..
tired?not really...
happy?not really...
feel good to spend my time with my family...
the weather is so damn hot until i dont know what to do...
didnt eat much,i also dont know why...
the moment im spending time at hometown,
there is only one thing that i keep think about it..
which is the one i love...
seeing my cousins all some other couple that passed by,
i really feel sad and pain in my heart...
nothing i can do to make me feel better...
all the memories just there,
all the plan that we used to discuss about it,
all the words...
and i read back the messages in my phone..
everything in a year just gone ...
once i reached home,
i saw you have changed everything in your profile,
no more photos,no more status..
deep in my heart,i really feel pain...pain until i cant stop my tears..
maybe all this while i thought you love me more than i love you,
i thought is hard for you to let go...
but i guess...i was wrong...
the one that cant let go is me...
i was so wrong....
you seems like really doing great and totally give up..
all gone...really gone..
and nothing else i can do..nothing...
nothing from you anymore...
this is the hardest chinese new year for me...
this is so not supposed to happen...
but...this is what that happened to me...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

today is the day..

today is the day...chinese new year & valentine's day..
went church this morning,my 2nd time of song lead..
errmm...still most of them told me im doing great,
but still..i want more from myself...
standing on stage,lots of people wearing red clothes,
putting smile on their face,make me feel warm in my heart..
when ppl talked about valentine's day,i feel like...
oh!it's remind me that today is the day...valentine's day..
but cant celebrate it anymore with the one i love...in my heart...
no doubt,i feel lonely and jealous with those couples...
the way they look at each other with sweet smile,
the moment they received the present from each other,
or the surprise that prepared by his or her...
when i was on the way back,turn on the radio,
two is better than one was today valentine's song..
the DJ somemore mention that today is the day of two is better than one..
is mean that takkan you celebrate alone,for sure is with the one you love..
of course my friends keep telling me that the love one can be my family..
but the feeling is different,no ones hope to spend this moment alone..
but im the one...listening to the song,repeat n repeat...
feel so grey right?but this is what i feel right now...
my love,my valentine....am i waiting all these from you..?
i have the silly thoughts in my mind,was thinking to go out now,
and buy something for myself..lol...
just don't want to have a lonely valentine's day...
chocolate , all i need for now is chocolate...
chocolate is the best way to cure my sadness....
i remember last time you used to buy me chocolate,
when i was angry,
when you know that you did something wrong,
when you know i want it so much...
all these memories appeared in my mind now...
i know,i really know it not going to happen anymore...
just that...i dont know what else can i do to make me stop thinking all these..
the good friend that i used to talk with,already gone from my life..
i remember last time we always talk to each other,
when one of us having problem,the other one sure will be there no matter what..
but now...everything seems like different,already changed...
i guess...im the one that thought we are good friend for each other..
silly me .... always expect this and that ,end up i get nothing but disappointment...
today...is the day...
without me in your life,without you in my life...
i can see that you doing great over there...
i will try my best to move on.....
today is the day...chinese new year and valentine's day...
im not in a happy mood...but i hope all of my friends having a good time now...

Friday, February 12, 2010

when it happened...

i remember before things happened,you told me that you love the song;
i remember what you wore on the first day,you came into my life and i thought
"hey,you know,this could be something,"cause everything you do and words you say,
you know that it all take my breath away and now im left with nothing,
so maybe it's true i can't live without you,
and maybe two is better than one,
but there's so much time,to figure out the rest of my life,
and you've already got me coming undone,
and im thinking two is better than one...
this is the song you told me that you love it so much,
and you told me that maybe is true two is better than one..
i was thinking maybe that is so true that two is better than one..
but in the end...we can't make it...
take a deep breath,we both know that this is not what we want to see,
but then again,this is the decision...
decision also the solution...thou i dont even know how this going to solve the problem,
but everything just end like that,it's over...
it's hurts when i try to look back or turning back to the memories...
everytime when i close my eyes before i sleep or when i woke up,
i just feel hard to breath cause i still can't fully accept the truth..
all the feelings comes to me when the night turns to silence...
all the emotions just there when the phone doesn't ring anymore..
tears just drop when i was driving...
shout it loud in car to make myself feel better,
sounds crazy to shout,but seriously this is the first time i shout alone in car,
but it doesn't make me feel better...
but deep in my heart i know that my life still moves on..
i have to face it,accept it,overcome it...
and i know....
if our heart are connected,there will be a day in future for us to prove that.
two is better than one......
i'm looking back on yesterday..
i'll hold yesterday in my heart...

就这样...

就这样...事情的发生也无法改变了...
就这样...事情的发生也成了事实...
就这样...事情的发生也让人透不过气来...
就这样...事情的发生变成了回忆...
就这样...而我也就这样...
就这样的让自己去接受,
就这样的让自己去克服,
就这样的让自己去面对,
就这样的让自己学习坚强,
就这样的让自己学习隐藏,
就这样的让自己学习忍受...
生活里就是有太多东西就这样的发生...
有时觉得事情发生得太快,太突然..
有时觉得事情的发生带来遗憾,伤感...
但是往往事情就是这样的发生了...
就连自己也无法想象为何会发生这样的事情...
无法想象为什么会做出这样的决定..
无法想象为什么事情会演变成这样的结果...
到最后....自己也就这样的忍受了一切的一切...
就这样...我的决定已成了无法改变的事实..