Monday, November 9, 2009

有时

有时...疲惫的感觉真的很难受...
有时...厌倦的感觉真的很难受...
有时...寂寞的感觉真的很难受...
有时...烦恼的感觉真的很难受...
有时...憋在心中的感觉更难受...
有时...不能表达的感觉更难受...
有时...无人体会的感觉更难受...
有时...令人讨厌的感觉更难受...

此刻...我的感受更难受...
很多时候我并不奢望得到什么...
可是至少一句问候,一句安慰,总比没有来得好吧...
身边的总是说了解我,明白我,谅解我,
可是事实真的如此吗...?
我的好不被看见,
而我的不好全部都被看见...
也许我真的是如此的不好...

当你做到失去耐心的时候,
当你做的已变成很应该的时候,
当你做到最好的时候,
身旁的人都不以为意...
身旁的人都不放在心上...
身旁的人都漠不关心...
你还能撑下去吗...?你忍着了吗...?
我...还真的忍不下去了...
我...真的觉得很无奈...
难道我的状况比其他人好吗...?为什么不能体谅我...?
我做得不够好?还是不够多...?请告诉我...
我做得太少?太差?请告诉我...
为什么很多事情都还像很自然的变成我的义务?
为什么很多不属于我的责任都无形中变成我的一部分?

道歉并不是每次都有效的...
道歉是真的用心道歉吗?
道歉之后是否真的有心反省?
道歉并不代表可以把所有都忘掉..
道歉并不表示可以让自己好过些..
到底...道歉是出自于真心还是无心...?

我不再渴望得到任何的同情..
我不再渴望得到任何的回报..
我不再渴望得到任何的关心..
我不再渴望...不再理会...
因为此刻的我真的觉得很厌倦...
当你真正感觉到心灰意冷的时候...
你就能感觉到我此刻的感受.........

2 comments:

D-Angel said...

omg... dear, are u okay? @@

felicia choi said...

sometimes,ignoring is the best thing. dun let ur emotion goes overhead.

ppl around u who did not put in initiative is their lost, vice versa,u gained more than u could. u r more experience, u r tougher, u r able to manage things beyond ur limit. ur lord is thr to give u the strength =)

u could hv tell ppl around u, nt to take advantages from ur forgiveness, from ur kindness. but u choose to bare v the hardwork urself,nt telling them how. simply becoz u doesnt wanna spoil the friendship. friendship doesnt mean doing donkey jobs, forgiving every damn excuses dear. every1 has their role2 play,never play2 roles at once. they would end up either mentally split or hurting a good fren like u.

i dun wish u walk the way i've walked, sometimes i knew. its unbearable. not the work but the people themselves.

by dropping tis comment,i dun wish to create any hard feelings on ur frens but i wish they would realise wat they did to a fren. the action of theirs r unnoticeable by themselves. but u as the individual who bare with everything will b sensitive. so lovely frens out thr, give tis lovely dear some air to breath, at least try2 grow up n bare v ur own role =) aint trying to ruin any relationship here,somehow juz feel pity n i dun wish some1 here to face mentally break down. i've been tru tis n seriously, it feels like SHIT =D

good day thr,every1. missing u peeps =)