my day...

my day...rojak day...lolx...
morning,went for class,after class then went for movie,
after movie went to USCI,darling's having choir performance,
fter that we went to church for practice,and the last...i'm HOME now!!
wow...that is my day!what a special day...
but...here comes again my feelings...
everytime after meet with your friends,i will have some weird feelings..
or i should say everytime when i know that i'm going to meet your friend,i'm sure feel bad before going ><
not because your friends was bad to me,not their fault...but is me...
i'm the one that think too much as u guys always said so...
but can anyone feel what i feel ....?
during the moment when i first step into the hall,facing to all of your friends,
they all were busy with their stuff,but you told me they want to see me...
but end up,i felt like i am just an extra over there..
stand aside,waiting for you...
looking at your friends,your friends talk,laugh,walking here and there,calling you...
and me....?i just walk away and wait you at outside there...
because it will makes me feel better...sorry dear...
yea,i admit that when you be with my friends,my friends also keep talking to me..
but for me,at least they din try to ignore you,they still can share jokes together with you...
is that really because of my english?because i can't really speak well with it?
is that because i don't know how to talk with them?
why...why....
i'm trying to put this away...
i'm trying to tell myself that i need to overcome it...
but still...it was too hard for me....
i feel stress when spending time with your friends...
because i keep on thinking what to talk on next,
how to reply in english,
how to join into the topic,how to mix with them...
i hate myself again....
i'm not a good gf ...i'm not good enough...
sorry that can't makes you feel proud because of me....
darling,sorry.....
i don't know how and what to do...
>.< >.<><