confuse

when people mention about you,i really dunno what should i feel...
i dunno how to face it,i dunno how to accept that u really really not belong to me anymore...
honestly,i still waiting that someday u wil come back to me,i know this kind of thinking is super silly...
but i really cant control myself,i do love u,but u was hurting me...and i still dunno how to let you go...
everytime when i pass by some place that we use to went there before,every word that you told me before,every friend that you meet before,i really really miss you...really miss you...
but the truth is you r not belong to me anymore...but please allow me to being that silly...i just hope to get the chance to be ur friend again,i know you dunwan to give me that chance,you wan me to forget aboout you,but i really feel hard to make it...i though i can fall in love to another guy,but i keep think about you...i...miss...you...
sometimes i really feel angry about you because what you told me before is just a lie...
u said that i still can sms you,find you as usual,but then...u never give me that chance to do so...
why?why?why you want to hurt me in that way?do you know i really get hurt...
2 weeks relationship really means nothing to you,but it was so meaningful to me...
i will never never forget the moment that we spend together,no one can replace you for now...people ask me why i love you that much?you are not good enough,not handsome,not really a good guy,but for me,you are good enough,you are a sweet guy...i love you,and i never feel regret...
but i really feel bad everytime when i think about you,i dunno who should i find to express my feeling,because no one want to listen about you anymore,i know they want me to forget about you that's why they dun wan to let me talk more about you...but what i need is...a pair of ears,a shoulder that let me cry on it...
i really feel bad everytime when i see friends around me are busy to think about how to celebrate their annivesary or birthday,it makes me think about you,and i cant speak it out...
i hate myself because i'm not strong enough,i hate myself to being that silly...
i even hate myself why i cant be that well as her...if i'm not that bad,maybe you will stil be with me...
if i'm not a christian,will you still choose to be with me?do you really choose to let me go just because i am a christian?do you really like me?do you really care about me?i hope the answer is yes...
everyday,every moment,i hope that i can meet you at somewhere else,but i never meet you...
i hope that i can see you in my dream,but it never happen...
i hope i can received a msg that is from you,but you never msg me...
i hope i can say hi to you and have more talk with you,but you just give me that chance to say hi...
i hope i can delete all the msg that you send me,delete all the memories that you gave me,but i cant...
i feel tired...really tired...can you feel me?will you...?